Little Reminders To Believe In Yourself

Last month I learned quite a few lessons that took me by surprise, both good and bad. I wanted to share what I learned from each experience and I feel nothing but hope that things are looking up. Also, I learned new things about myself that I knew were there all along, but somehow these experiences needed to happen in order to bring that side of me to the surface.

So first let’s talk about the whole car situation. I admit it was stressful and I didn’t know how I was going to overcome this mountain. I learned that you can’t tell your insurance company everything because less is more. Thankfully, I was able to get a car after looking for about a week and a half. I went to 3 different dealerships and it was a pain in the butt. At one point, I almost bought a 10 year old car because I thought that’s the best I could get under these circumstances. My friend Emma helped me open my eyes by suggesting to wait for a better car and better deal. So I did and I’m so glad because I ended up with the car that I really had my eye on, it met all my specifications (minus not having bluetooth but that’s ok, I have a portable one), and I feel so much better.

Next was the apartment hunting. I thought I had until July or August and it turns out I had to find a place sooner, around mid June. My roommate is moving to South Texas to be close to his family. So I started looking and was even thinking of having my boyfriend at the time be on the lease instead and later on move in when he’s ready. I’m so glad that I didn’t go that route because I had to break up with him due to circumstances that were beyond my control and so I really had to do this on my own. At last, I found an apartment that’s close to my job and they were able to work with me so I got a place on my own, by myself.

Honestly, I underestimated myself in both of these situations and thought I had to settle. Automatically, I thought there was no way I could do this alone. Little did I know is that it was possible, I just hadn’t discovered it until the time came. Until I had no other option and had to ask and to my surprise the answer was yes. Yes, you can have this beautiful Jeep. Yes, you can have this beautiful apartment.

I guess when life beats you up after awhile, you stop dreaming that you really can have what you want. No more of that. I assumed the worst and I’m glad I was wrong.

I also realized that this relationship was draining my energy and wasn’t making me a better person. It definitely wasn’t making me a better writer because I stopped writing. It killed me inside to not write in my blog because I feared of what people would think (mainly his family) and at the end of the day, this is my life and I need to live it. If people can’t back me up, then they don’t deserve to be in my life.

When I went to visit Dallas (Memorial Day weekend), I actually really enjoyed myself. I reconnected with old friends I hadn’t seen in years and it made me feel so warm inside and loved. Spent time with my family and watched movies with my dad, which is our favorite thing to do. For the first time I was not looking forward to coming back to Austin.

So now that May wrapped up, I feel ready with these new lessons that taught me to never assume the worst, underestimate myself, and keep asking for what I want because what’s the worst that could happen. You don’t know until you ask. In the end, we need to keep believing in ourselves because if we don’t, why would anyone else?

What did you learn lately?