Let’s talk about detachment. I know all too well how I’m responsible for my own happiness. Happiness is within me and not something that’s out there for me to attain. Detachment, however, really made it click. Learning that detaching from expectations, outcomes, reactions, desires, are all forms of control if we don’t keep an eye on it from an objective standpoint.
The following quote beautifully describes exactly what detachment is; The Virtues Project says:
Detachment is experiencing our feelings without allowing them to control us. We step back and look at things objectively. We let go and accept what we cannot change. We detach from others’ choices, knowing that their spiritual work is not ours to do. We choose how we will act rather than just reacting. We step away from harmful cravings. Detachment is a deep breath of peace and patience in response to unexpected anger. We can listen without losing ourselves. With detachment, we see our mistakes honestly, make amends and start afresh. Detachment allows us to be in the world, but not of it. It frees us to lead our lives with grace.
This is such a profound description that I read it over and over to really absorb it. This applies to everything in your life. It’s an incredible and powerful tool to use when it comes to our relationships with family/friends, significant other and even career.
Once you grasp what detachment is, that’s when you can apply it. Take me, for example, with my relationship with my soulmate. I’m not using the term “twin flame” anymore, because not only is it labeling, but nothing is ever really set in stone. I’ll get into that in another post.
When he decided to get married in a rush (why rush into a marriage is beyond me), but it honestly helped me to take a step back and detach from his action when it comes to our connection. It has nothing to do with me, this is something he felt he needed to do for his soul growth. It doesn’t take away from what we had, it doesn’t change anything. This week alone I felt feelings of loneliness and I know that’s not my normal feelings, but most likely could be coming from him. See, we’re still connected.
I was able to let go of the outcome that I had hoped for. It was like a slap in the face into the reality we’re both in. I decided to accept it because not accepting it or focusing on it, brings on more pain. Finally understanding that his choice is something I can’t ever control, yet it showed me that this needed to happen so that I could allow things to flow and not control. Accepting his choice was the beginning of me being able to release myself and detach.
Two weeks after I did this, I met someone. It felt like the glimpse of a new beginning in the works and I was honestly surprised how my feelings for this new person deepened.
The main takeaway I want you guys to take from this, is that when you let go of something you held onto for a long time to the point of hurting you in every facet of your being, you find freedom and happiness on the other side. I’m also not saying that someone else or a dream job will be the answer, but that the Universe will send you someone new or a new opportunity to help you strive for more and put you in alignment for what you deserve and wants you in return.
As for my new person, it’s still under construction. There are a lot of factors in the way that are keeping us from moving forward, but I feel those factors are there for a reason. I trust my intuition that I found him when I needed to learn that I could have new feelings again for someone, even when I thought my heart was beat and battered to a pulp.
Our hearts are so amazing in how they can crack to let the light in and beat again once more when you thought you were dead. Detaching with love is how you let the light in. I hope this helps you guys. Comment below if this resonated with you. I’d love to hear from you!