Goodbye Forever

Today I found out you got married. I am in complete shock. I already let you go, but to find these news out cemented it for me that our chapter is sealed. I couldn’t cry when I saw your pictures with her. My brain was just trying to process what I was seeing.

It just doesn’t make any sense. How you can go from being a player, not wanting a relationship, to all of a sudden marrying someone, an elopement at that.

You broke my heart so badly before, but tonight you grabbed my heart out of my chest and crushed it in your hands. Leaving me on the ground, crying out, “WHY?”. I was doing fine, I didn’t even cry on Valentine’s Day and today I had a sort of a relapse. I cried like a baby. My soul was in an emotional shit storm.

We really were something. I know you lied when you pretended not to feel the same as me. I know this because energy doesn’t lie. I felt your energy intertwined with mine. The time our hands shocked and you asked me if I felt the static. When you’d say you loved the way I looked at you. When you said you’d have to purposely stop looking at me because you loved everything I did. When you told me you prayed for us to have an easy path.

We had it all. It was right there. So close. Yet so fleeting. Our love was like a shooting star. Shining so bright across the sky, a wish come true, then gone forever.

After I dry my tears, I will pick myself back up and I won’t look back. Thanks to your impulsive decision, I will take it as a sign that you never loved me. So I can use this as fuel to help me to move on. Now I can allow myself to find someone who will love me.

I genuinely hope you’re happy. I wish you the best. I hope that this marriage helps you become the man you’re meant to be. As for me, I will survive you. I’ll find someone too.

As I looked at your recent pictures, I noticed your smile is more refined. I had a feeling months ago you got Invisalign. Crazy that my feeling wasn’t wrong. Just another sign reminding me that when I feel what you’re up to, I’m not off the mark. We’ll always be connected no matter what.

However, to help us both move on, I blocked you. This was the nail in the coffin. May our lost love rest in peace. I love you, Jay.

Goodbye My Love,

Bella

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