Dear August, You Never Cease To Amaze Me

Thinking back on a few times in my life where out of this world things have happened, they sometimes happen in August. August for me throughout the years has become like my own personal hurricane. It destroys everything I held so close to my heart and leaves me scrambling for the broken pieces. While there have been some August months where really good things happen, all in all for me August is always bittersweet.

My mom and stepdad got married in August several years ago. That was a very happy time in my family’s life and I cherish that memory of getting to see my beautiful mother walking down the aisle. I also sang at their wedding, which was totally not on the agenda, but I winged it and sang, “At Last”. Back then I was heavily influenced by Christina Aguilera. It was great.

Then my very first heartbreak happened from my 8 year relationship with my first love. It happened on August 1st, almost 10 years ago. Thank God I started reading heavily that time in my life because I read the book, “It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken”, and it truly saved me from making a fool of myself when I wanted to crawl back and beg him to get back together. Instead it was the other way around and he came drunken off his ass and telling me he missed me. That was the last time I saw him.

Right after college I was working for an apartment complex as a leasing agent and I was living on one of the sister properties. The day they let me go they told me I was no longer welcomed back and I needed to move from their sister site. My brain could not comprehend why they were not only letting me go, but I have to move? Talk about a double whammy. Back then I was still with my long time boyfriend and he didn’t even offer to let me live with him even though he had a house. I stayed with him a year later, the following August and I wished I would have ended it for good then, but it doesn’t matter now.

Last August, I fell in love. Granted, I have not fallen in love like this since my first love, it was amazing. I knew there were many obstacles ahead, but I kept on the path just hoping for the best. As you know, it didn’t work out and it ended 9 months later. This month would have been our one year anniversary, but shit happens. Truth is, he cheated on me with an escort… twice. The first time it was brutal and it happened last year. When it happened again this year, I knew better than to stick around. That’s a wrap.

It’s absolutely humiliating to know that the person I loved did such an atrocious thing. But it just goes to show you that people are capable of anything. It’s up to you to stand up for yourself and don’t take anymore BS. So that’s what I did and I wish he would leave me alone. He still tries to text me, which I blocked him again for good, but it’s like, “Hello? Do you not realize you hurt me and did the unthinkable?” He’s not even sorry. When he first told me what he did, he never said sorry. Last time I saw him, he still didn’t say sorry. Even if he did, it doesn’t erase the damage he’s done.

He doesn’t even seem broken up about our relationship dying. To me, that’s not normal. I wonder if he’s not in tune with his emotions or what, but he seems to act like he didn’t do anything too earth shattering and things can go back to normal. WRONG. Or he’s probably used to not facing consequences because he’s had it so easy growing up that he’s now in for a rude awakening. Newsflash: If you want to lose the woman you love, do what you did, not once, but do it twice. That will send her packing. Move on because I have!

Two weeks ago, I met someone and I have a crush. He’s so dreamy I call him McDreamy. Unfortunately though, it’s not in the cards because of the age difference, plus he’s taken. But it feels good to finally have a crush on someone, even if it’s secret. Well, not anymore since I’m blogging about it, but y’all know what I mean.

Now that August is wrapping up, I feel so good about life. I bought a sofa that’s being custom made and it should be delivered by my birthday in October.

It’s gonna be a beige color as you see on the top left with micro suede fabric and the throw pillows will be in that print. Can’t wait!

Little by little I’m decorating my apartment and making it my happy place. I’ve been cooking in the kitchen, making delicious keto recipes and reading books has been a sweet escape. Next month, I hope to get out of the house more because I’m becoming a hermit. With Roman, my former roommate, living in Corpus Christi now, Austin sure seems lonely, yet peaceful.

How did August treat you? Share with me on the highlights of your month and the lows if you want.