This year changed everything. I know I’m not alone when I say 2020 was ROUGH for many reasons. It was also GREAT in many ways. Feeling so much positivity and gratitude that I want to reflect on the good that came out of this crazy and unforgettable year.
My heart is so happy that this year I was let go from a job that I wasn’t excited about. The commute, the job itself was taxing, I outgrew the people there. I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders when I was let go due to Covid.
I can finally work on that YouTube channel I kept telling myself I would start. With so much time in my hands, I launched my YouTube channel Bella Gitana Tarot, in April.
Months later I made the switch on my website from Bella & The City to Bella Gitana Tarot. It took months of debating and then when it was time, it felt like the next natural step to take. I love it!
It took a few months to get over my heartbreak and obsession. Twin Flame obsession is real y’all and I was tormented everywhere I turned. If it were any other guy, I would’ve been over him in a month or two. But no, you can’t get over your twin flame no matter how hard you try. That shit is eternal.
Any little thing would send me into a crying spree. Songs, signs, movies, memories, mutual friends telling me about him, dreaming about him, his name following me, him constantly in my head.
Suddenly, it stopped. The dreams ceased, which I’m thankful. Most of the dreams I had of him, he ignores me and is making out with all kinds of girls. There’s maybe two dreams where he told me he loved me and made eye contact while saying he wants to talk to me.
I think I reached a limit of tears, although sometimes it comes in waves, especially during full moons. I feel like I reached this phase out of the obsession because it was time. It happened gradually and I finally started feeling better.
I started feeling like myself again. Now I feel pure happiness and joy in the little things. I feel I’m in union with myself. Surrendering to whatever comes is a different kind of feeling, but I’m thankful I made it to the other side.
My subscribers on my channel are now around 900! I only need 100 more to finally get paid by YouTube. I started booking personal readings with clients and it has been so rewarding and it feels so good.
I went through a spiritual awakening. It’s different for everyone. Some people awaken after an accident, death of a loved one, an illness, a near death experience, or meeting your twin soul, which is what happened to me.
Seeing the world through spiritual eyes is a game changer. If I hadn’t awakened, I would have taken this pandemic in a very pessimistic way. However, when you see past the material world into the spiritual, your entire belief system is altered.. for the better. You act different, you say different things, you want better for yourself. It’s literally like you’re born anew and can’t go back to your old ways.
Spirituality unlocked my growth to also love myself more. My self worth has increased because it was a bit low in some areas of my life. Having self love and strong boundaries is key and I’m thankful to have a solid understanding of that now.
I just feel so lucky that I now know my purpose and I’m living it. It took years to get to this place, but good things take time.
Now as for New Year’s Eve, I have no plans but to be in my PJ’s, bake brownies, have red wine and champagne toast. Very different from last NYE where I was heartbroken and a complete mess. This NYE though, I’m healed, stronger, blessed and happier.
So let that shit go with 2020. Give thanks for the good and keep focusing on the good. Now the best is yet to come with 2021! I love y’all, stay safe! Happy New Year!
What good came out of 2020 for you?